In Memory of...

• ... Andrew T. Renouf

  

  Andrew T. Renouf committed suicide on or about October 17, 1995 because he had 100% of his wages taken by the Family Responsibility Office, an agency of the Government of Ontario, Canada.

  He asked for assistance for food and shelter from the welfare office and was refused because he had a job, even though all of his wages were taken by the Family Responsibility Office.
  
  Andy was a loving father that hadn't seen his daughter in 4 years.

   

• ... Andrew

  Andrew took his own life on 18th November 2005 after attending the Brisbane registry of the family court to file application for contact with his children. He was told that a court date at this stage would take up to 10 months due to the backlog of applications filed in the court. He then wrote letter to registrar to requesting to abridge the waiting time period but was told as there was no real child welfare concerns in regards to his matter this would not be an option. He became visibly upset at this time throwing his paper work in the bin.
  
  He rang his sister as he was leaving the courthouse and told her that he was going to end the pain. His sister then calmed him down believing he wasn't going do anymore at this stage. He went back to his office in the Brisbane CBD whereby he practiced as a high end of market accountant, went to the toilet in the building tied his tie to the sprinkler system and hung himself. He was found shortly after by other fellow office workers that are also receiving counseling.
  
  No one new this was going to happen and as most that do this suffer overwhelming pain with there only relief is to end it. End the pain.
  
  The family is very upset Andrew's mother is under medical attention and his sister and other family members are very much upset.

• ... Kent Restell

  Dear Tony,
  
  Please find enclosed a cheque, in memory of our beloved Kent Restell, who committed suicide on 10.8.06.

  Monies were donated in lieu of flowers at Kents funeral on 17.8.06. Please use this donation to help prevent other families from having to endure the pain and torment that has become our lives.
  
  Yours Sincerely Michelle
  
  Yes Michelle we will do exactly as you request. I receive lots of these letters, unfortunately more and more as the days go on. As much as the donations help us in our work I would of course rather of not received them. I would rather have had the opportunity to talk with Kent. I would rather be with him right now maybe having a beer with him. Maybe just showing him that I care. I would like that his family and friends had not to grieve his loss. But it happens sadly and those that are left behind suffer and struggle to come to terms with it. My concern now is for them, that they are ok, that they are receiving support. And we offer that support to them, a hand of friendship and we honour his memory for them..........
  
  Tony Miller Founder Dads in Distress

• ... Greg Baitch

  33 year old Greg took his own life on 8th October 2007 on the Central Coast NSW. He was clearly a dad in distress.
  
  In exerpts from Greg's fathers eulogy he said;
  
  What a loss.
  
  A parent should never be in the position of having to bury a child. Particularly someone who is physically well and in the prime of his life. What a waste.
  
  And I keep asking myself, why? What more should we have done to help you Greg? What level of despair were you at to take such a final step? Why didn't we detect that you were so deeply depressed? Why didn't I check with you whether you had sufficient cash to meet immediate needs?
  
  It's a tough world out there for tradesmen. Subcontracting...
  
  Furthermore the financial responsibilities of child support for divorced dads make it difficult for them to be able to get on with their new lives. Society, big business and government has a lot to answer for. It is tragic that the weight on his shoulders was such that he could not cope with things any longer.
  
  I guess I will never know what triggered his final hours of despair. He loved his boys and told them so. He tried hard to be a good man and person, but felt that he was never good enough. But we all know that he was good enough. Gregs generous spirit was such that he'd always put others in front of himself. He was very gregarious and had lots of friends in all walks of life, as seen by the crowd here.
  
  Our memories of Greg will remain forever.
  He toiled and worked hard and aimed to achieve.
  He was generous with his family and friends.
  He would give you the shirt off his back.
  Our lasting memory of Greg will be the smile, the laugh and the happy and generous spirit that he had.
  Greg had love all around him, yet he felt that that he didn't have the love that he particulary wanted.
  Mate, you will always hold a special place in our hearts. We will miss you.
  
  Alex Baitch

  
  
  IF I KNEW
  
  If I knew it would be the last time That I'd see you fall asleep, I would tuck you in more tightly and pray the Lord, your soul to keep.
  
  If I knew it would be the last time that I see you walk out the door, I would give you a hug and kiss and call you back for one more.
  
  If I knew it would be the last time I'd hear your voice lifted up in praise, I would video tape each action and word, so I could play them back day after day.
  
  If I knew it would be the last time, I could spare an extra minute to stop and say "I love you," instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.
  
  If I knew it would be the last time I would be there to share your day, Well I'm sure you'll have so many more, so I can let just this one slip away.
  
  For surely there's always tomorrow to make up for an oversight, and we always get a second chance to make everything just right.
  
  There will always be another day to say "I love you," And certainly there's another chance to say our "Anything I can do?"
  
  But just in case I might be wrong, and today is all I get, I'd like to say how much I love you and I hope we never forget.
  
  Tomorrow is not promised to anyone, young or old alike, And today may be the last chance you get to hold your loved one tight.
  
  So if you're waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, you'll surely regret the day,
  
  That you didn't take that extra time for a smile, a hug, or a kiss and you were too busy to grant someone, what turned out to be their one last wish.
  
  So hold your loved ones close today, and whisper in their ear, Tell them how much you love them and that you'll always hold them dear
  
  Take time to say "I'm sorry," "Please forgive me," "Thank you," or "It's okay." And if tomorrow never comes, you'll have no regrets about today.

• ... Erich Mushka Schulz

  Christmas 2007

  With great sadness I inform you of the suicide of one of our own. Erich Mushka Schulz. Erich was a founding member of the Dads in Distress group in Newcastle. Erichs death brings home the reality of just how fragile the situation is in which we deal on a daily basis. You never know who the guy is sitting next to you in the meeting, you never know what he feels unless he shares it with you. Erich knew what it was all about. He had all our numbers, he chose a different path. Erichs last act was of kindness in helping to move a new dad in distress to a new address. He attended the Newcastle Dids Christmas party a couple of nights before.
  
  He leaves behind 2 beautiful boys, family and a bunch of mates who loved him. Please keep him and his family in your thoughts and prayers.
     

• ... Jason Tookey

  On the 27th Dec 2007 we tragically lost our son Jason Tookey aged 27 years.
  
  Jason was severely depressed due to the breakdown of his relationship and not being able to see his daughter aged 1 year as often as he would have loved. As a result of his depression he was hospitalised on Nov 20th in Port Macquarie. I was fortunate enough to spend Christmas day with him. On boxing day he went to the races at Wauchope and tragically took his life at 4am on the 27th. Unfortunately, I did not know about your service as I would have made Jason call you.
  
  Please accept this donation on behalf of our son Jason as I am sure he wouldn't want any father to go through what he has. He was absolutely heartbroken and could simply not live without his daughter anymore.

  He was a loving Father, son, brother and uncle.
  
  Thanking You Karyn Tookey (mother)
  
  Jason sent a text message to his mother before he took his life, 'If I can't see my daughter here, I will see her from above...'
  
  Another senseless death, another fatherless child, another grieving family. Please keep Jason and his family and his little girl in your thoughts and prayers.
  
  Tony Miller Founder Dads in Distress

• ... Nic Balgowan

  

  From: Dads in Distress Perth, 06 October 2009
  
  Hi; it is with great sadness I have to inform you that one of our brothers took his own life last week here in Perth. His name Nic Balgowan, he leaves behind two boys aged 4 & 6.
  
  RIP Nic

   

• ... Lee

  From: Dads in Distress Melbourne, 21 October 2009
  
  Dear All,
  
  Lee had been coming to DIDS groups in Frankston, Narre Warren, and Dandenong, and had been making some good progress in overcoming various traumas, including his family break-up. On Monday night it became too much for him and he is now not going to be around for his two young boys as they grow up.
  
  Please remember him and his loved ones in the minute's silence at the start of your meetings.
  
  We were honoured to have been able to help him as much as we did.
  
  Regards, Dean