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OUR PURPOSE
Dads in Distress (DIDS) is a community based organisation dedicated to reducing the incidence of male suicide resulting from relationship and family breakdown.
Operating from an Administration Centre situated in Coffs Harbour, on the New South Wales Mid North Coast, DIDS has active programs into all eastern States and services individual and community clients from all Australian States and Territories. With plans for expansion of on-the-ground activities, DIDS intends to have active programs Australia-wide to more effectively reach men in need of support wherever they may reside.
Vision
Happier, healthier children, parents and relationships
Mission
Our mission is to assist dads/men and the community to access the cornerstones of healthy child and family relationships - emotional support; education; information; positive relationships; and decision making assistance.
DIDS works to provide these services by building networks and alliances, being the voice of advocacy for our clients; conducting our DIDS peer support groups and providing web site and 1300 telephone support and community education initiatives.
Organisational Values
As a not for profit community welfare organisation we are committed to providing high quality services and programs with a focus on:
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Care for others - really being there for those in need
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Education - providing meaningful support and information to the community
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Equity - providing services for the community
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Excellence - aligning with best practice in mental health and community advocacy
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Collaboration - networking and resource sharing with related government and non government organisations; volunteers and the community.
ORGANISATION OVERVIEW
Legal Status
DIDS is a not for profit community based organisation incorporated under the Associations Incorporation Act 1984. DIDS is a charitable institution with Tax Charity Concessions for:
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GST, FTB and Income Tax Exemption (ITE)
DIDS operates a DIDS PUBLIC FUND which has Deductible Gift Recipient (DGR) status.
DIDS is also included on the Register of Harm Prevention Charitable Institutions. The Register was established to assist charitable institutions whose principal activity is to promote the prevention or control of behaviour that is harmful or abusive to human beings, to obtain financial support from the community by providing a tax incentive mechanism for community donations.
Members/Target Groups
DIDS currently has 9 paid staff and 55 volunteers acting in the capacity of Management and Advisory Committee members, Regional Support Coordinators and Peer Group Facilitators.
Approximately 1000 men/fathers participate in peer support activities. These numbers are not static and fluctuate in terms of available funding, volunteer capacity and interest and community need.
As a peer support network, DIDS actively targets men (of any age) who are in crisis or experiencing difficulty with family breakdown, child-parent relationships and the associated traumas that result from the breakdown of the family unit. DIDS does not discriminate in the provision of services to anyone in need, aiming to be there for anyone requiring support, information, assistance or simply a friendly voice at the end of the phone in times of need.
DIDS currently runs support groups in all States and Territories and figures (at the time of writing) indicate an age-related demographic of:
Age Group
20-24 years
25-34 years
35-44 years
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% of participants
1
19
37
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Age Group
45-54 years
55-64 years
65+
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% of participants
31
2
0
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The 1300 telephone support service receives an average 1828 calls per annum for support, assistance and advice from members and the general community.
Projects & Services
Regional Expansion Projects
DIDS currently operates 3 Regional Expansion Projects:
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DIDS Western Sydney Expansion Project
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DIDS Frankston Expansion Project
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DIDS Mid North Coast Expansion Project.
The Regional Expansion Projects, funded under the Australian Government's Stronger Families and Communities Strategy, were developed to continue to strengthen support to non-custodial fathers and their children in the nominated areas. Funding for these projects ceases in June 2009.
Project strategies include improving access to agencies that could support separated fathers, establishing weekly group meetings and encouraging fathers to re-engage with the community through volunteer work.
The projects encourage fathers to rebuild social networks through organised activities such as barbecues for fathers and children and peer group sessions. Information evenings are conducted on issues facing non-custodial fathers and participants are provided with parenting and relationship training and resources. These strategies aim to provide fathers with the skills and knowledge to better manage themselves and their families throughout and after the trauma of separation and divorce.
DIDS Peer Support Groups
DIDS is essentially a network of Peer Support Groups which have been established for men experiencing the trauma of relationship breakdown, divorce and separation from partners and children. The Peer Support model provides a place for these men to meet men in similar circumstances (peers) who offer them a listening ear and the opportunity to debrief, express their feelings without judgment, and then in turn share with others successful strategies used to overcome challenges. The groups provide social and emotional support, while resourcing men with local or national professional services to assist them with accessing complementary professional support services.
DIDS currently conducts over 50 Peer Support groups (primarily in Victoria and NSW) for men/fathers going through the trauma of divorce and separation.
Groups are conducted by Peer Facilitators, who receive training and ongoing support from the organisation to ensure quality control and maintenance of group services. DIDS encourages groups and facilitators to establish healthy relationships and partnerships with complementary service providers in the local area, to increase the efficiency of services supporting separated fathers.
DIDS Mobile Telephone Support Service
Each DIDS Peer Support Group is provided with a mobile phone which provides contact for participants during the week between meetings. This phone number is sometimes advertised as the local contact point for the DIDS group.
Volunteer Training and Support
DIDS provides training and support for all Group Facilitators and telephone operators who provide voluntary services to the organisation and its target clients.
1300 Telephone Service and Email Support
DIDS operates a 1300 number which serves as the central national contact and entry point for DIDS services, as well as providing information and resources to callers. An extension of the 1300 number is an after hours service, where callers are re-directed to a mobile phone number providing 24 hour access to support services.
The DIDS email address, dids@nor.com.au, is the address by which enquiries, questions or referrals are communicated to the Head Office. This provides a less confronting option for those who feel uncomfortable picking up the phone in the first instance.
Website Information
The DIDS website: www.dadsindistress.asn.au provides resources, information and links to relevant services for the general community. The website is also the portal for online forums which are moderated by trained DIDS facilitators.
Lobbying & Representation
DIDS lobbies government at all levels - local state and federal, to improve services for men and fathers. DIDS also acts to promote the views of these men on legislative, policy and government process in relation to separation, divorce, custody and child support. These issues are identified as real stressors for men experiencing the trauma of relationship breakdown.
MEN AND SUICIDE
Men need to know it's ok to share their feelings, it's ok to seek help...
Tony Miller, DIDS Founder
Current research indicates that Australian males make the decision to take their own life very quickly, showing few warning signs. For this reason, is it essential to have support systems readily available to respond quickly and effectively to any possible warning signs or immediate cries for help.
Although men of all ages, backgrounds and nationalities can be at risk, the ABS statistics describe men at particular risk as being:
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young or middle aged (20 to 44 years) or older men (over 75);
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men living in rural or remote areas;
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men undergoing traumatic life events (including relationship breakdown, separation from children, unemployment, financial stress and social isolation);
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men in prison or custody;
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men from Indigenous communities .
Suicide accounts for approximately one quarter of all deaths among Australian men between the ages of 20 and 44 years and life events such as unemployment, financial difficulties, relationship problems, depression, work stress, and substance abuse all play a role in determining the risk of suicide in this age group.
If there was ever a rock bottom in my life it was the divorce, the family court,
the solicitors and most of all, the loss of my children...
DIDS volunteer
A number of reasons for the relatively high rate of suicide in men have been suggested in the literature and these include:
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an increased likelihood to choose methods resulting in instant death
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a tendency to ignore or not recognise negative emotions or distress that lead to more severe emotional responses to adverse life events
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reluctance to seek help for emotional difficulties or communicate feelings of despair or hopelessness to others
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a belief that help-seeking displays weakness or failure
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lack of awareness of available local support services or a feeling that these services would not help in their situation.
While it is generally agreed that suicide-related behaviours can be linked to combinations of life events and personal and social factors; there is a growing body of evidence suggesting that one or more adverse life events, such as family breakdown, often precede suicide attempts.
It has been suggested that separated men commit suicide at six times the rate of married men and that divorce multiplies men's suicide risk, making them nearly 9.7 times likelier than women to commit suicide even after consideration of other risk factors .
Although it is not implicit in this research that all of these separated/divorced men commit suicide primarily due to the compounding factors of their separation or divorce, what can be generally assumed from the research is that the stress of adverse life events such as separation or divorce - reduced contact with children, difficult relationships with family members, financial overburden and so forth; all have the potential to significantly contribute to a man's feelings of hopelessness or an inability to cope.
Anecdotal evidence gathered from DIDS Support Group members and Volunteer Facilitators indicates that men who turn to DIDS for support do so from a place of intense personal suffering, compounded by feelings that there are no alternatives or choices available to them. Many have said that it is only because of DIDS that they are still here for their children today.
"DIDS is there for us men as we go through the worst time in our lives..."
Separated dad, NSW
The major challenges for many DIDS members experiencing relationship breakdown involve not only the loss of contact with their children, but the persistent financial and legal burdens that go hand in hand with displacement from the family home and negotiations for settlements and custody/access to their children.
The burden of legal advisors; court fees; finding a new place to live; replacing furniture and everyday living items; and doubling up on school uniforms, toys and children's clothing is a financial stress that fathers must bear, on top of paying child support and meeting everyday living expenses such as food, fuel and rent.
The legal burdens which follow - preparing affidavits and Orders applications; responding to Orders and letters from lawyers; negotiating property settlement offers and so forth, all place a father in a very challenging position. Often, paying for legal assistance takes the majority of a father's income or savings, with little guarantee of equality of outcome or a promise to see or have regular care of their children in the end. Case-studies from DIDS members indicate that a father of 4 can lose 75-85% or more of the marital assets to the mother of his children, while being asked to pay at least 36% of his taxable income in child support. With the burden of Federal government taxes of at least 32%, this leaves the average working father little to set up a new life for himself and his children. Feelings of despair, desperation and an inability to cope follow; often compounded by social isolation, lack of family or peer support and the ever-present mountain of bills and expenses that still need to be paid even though the world is falling down around them.
For many of the men who reach out to DIDS for support, this is the reality they face and the blackness from which many feel there is no escape.
Fast Facts
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Australian Government findings from a review of the LIFE (Living Is For Everyone) Framework for Suicide Prevention indicate that more than two thousand Australians take their own lives every year. In 2005, Australian males accounted for approximately 80% of all suicide deaths.
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While Australian research indicates that age standardised rates for suicide have been decreasing slowly since 1997, indications are that females attempt suicide at a higher rate than that of males, but males are four times more likely to complete suicide than females.
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Data from the recently released ABS 'Causes of Death' publication indicate that in 2006:
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there were 1 799 registered deaths from suicide compared to 2 101 in the previous year
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males accounted for 78% of deaths by suicide (1,398 males) and females accounted for 22% of deaths by suicide (401 females)
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the highest number of suicide deaths for males was observed in the 35 to 39 and 45 to 49 age groups, followed by males aged 40 to 44 years
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The percentage of deaths due to suicide in relation to the total number of deaths from all causes differs greatly among some age groups and between males and females. In particular, in the 20 to 24 year age group in 2006, suicide accounted for approximately 21% of all male deaths; and 14% of all female deaths for the 20 to 24 year age group. It also accounted for 19% of all male deaths and 12% of female deaths for the 25 to 29 year age group.
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Earlier studies directed at the relationship between marital status and suicide have also indicated significant differences in rates for married and separated persons ; while more recent studies focussing on suicide and geographic location also indicate a notable difference between urban-rural suicide rates, particularly among marginalised groups such as Indigenous communities and disadvantaged males.
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Australian suicide rates in rural and remote communities have risen substantially over the past few decades, especially among men.
The path I've chosen has its share of obstacles.....
A broken dream, a wounded heart, a tired spirit.
And yet I've been promised that if I walk the path with faith,
my dreams can be restored, my heart will be whole again, and my spirit will be renewed.
Susan E. Fair
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