Dads in Distress Inc

Phone: 1300 853 437
Email: didsadmin@bigpond.com
Internet: www.dadsindistress.asn.au
Postal Address: PO Box 2333, Coffs Harbour NSW 2450, Australia

30 July 2008
The Australian

Foreign dads boost child support debt
By Patricia Karvelas, Political correspondent

Foreign fathers - the majority of them New Zealanders and Americans living in Queensland - have saddled Australian authorities with the collection of a $235million debt for the children they left behind.

The Government is alarmed to find that double defaulters have emerged, with almost 2000 parents with debts to children overseas also owing $5.6million in support to their Australian kids.

Minister for Human Services Joe Ludwig yesterday opened a summit of experts from the Child Support Agency looking for new ways to tackle the growing level of child support debt owed by international customers.

"I am very concerned that international debt now stands at $235million and is the fastest growing proportion of the $1billion total child support debt", Senator Ludwig said.

The Australian has learned that much of this increase comes from "international debt", which includes parents who move to Australia and bring their debt with them, yet have no Australian children.

Australia is obliged to collect overseas debt in reciprocal arrangements with other nations under the Hague Convention.

Yesterday's workshop aimed to come up with new strategies to increase international child support collections, including more data-matching with other organisations, such as the tax office, and increased data-matching with international child support organisations. Senator Ludwig also wanted to use departure prevention orders more often.

Separated parents living overseas owed about $90million in payments to their children in Australia, Senator Ludwig said.

Children in other countries are owed $114million from separated parents living in Australia.

Most international debt cases involve New Zealand, Canada, Britain and the US. The majority of these fathers live in Queensland, closely followed by NSW and the ACT.

The number of international cases that originate in New Zealand is almost half the international caseload.

22 July 2008
Anglican Church of the Goodshepherd

Mens Alpha

What is the point of life?
What is the purpose of your life?
What relevance does Jesus have for our lives?

The Anglican Church of the Goodshepherd - Curtin, will be having a Mens Alpha. The next course will start on Sunday the 27 July at 6.30pm with an obligation free meal and introductory session at the Southside Community Centre (Boolimba Crescent Narrabundah)

The course will run on Monday nights, with no charge.

No fancy speakers, just good old fashioned mateship.

For more information call Pete on 04 1602 8853

Alternatively you can leave a message on 02 6281 2844 or send an email to the following address
church@goodshepherd-curtin.org.au

22 July 2008
Monash University

The relationship between marital status, masculinity, optimism and help seeking

Monash University Postgraduate student Lara Dolling is currently undertaking a key study investigating why men seek less help then women for both physical and mental health problems. The study aims to see if marital status influences men's attitudes to help seeking in response to a health problem.

If you are a male who is married, separated, divorced or re-married with at least one child, you could be vital for this study! Participation will involve completing a 20 minute anonymous questionnaire which can be completed online at:
http://med.monash.edu.au/psych/surveys/ldolling or returned in the provided postage paid envelope. Please note participation is completely anonymous and none of your personal information will be recorded.

If you are interested in participation in this study please either log on to the web address suggested, or contact Lara Dolling on
ldol1@student.monash.edu.au for a copy of the questionnaire to be sent to you.

21 July 2008
Herald Sun (Melbourne)

$20m in kid debt netted
By Fay Burstin

A tax blitz on separated parents has netted $20 million in overdue child support payments this year.

A joint effort by the Child Support Agency and the Australian Taxation Office identified 125,000 separated parents suspected of dodging their duties.

This resulted in more than 57,000 parents being fingered for failing to lodge tax returns for 2007-08.

More than 15,000 of these were found to have a child support debt averaging $1300.

A total of $19,745,597 in outstanding child support was collected, $3,694,177 of it from Victorians.

"This is a 20 per cent increase in the collection of overdue payments on the previous financial year," said Human Services Minister Senator Joe Ludwig.

"It sends a strong message to people who try to hide their true income to evade their child support responsibilities: You will be caught."

It's not just deadbeat dads falling behind; 12 per cent of paying parents are women.

The blitz follows a range of tough new measures aimed at boosting the collection of child support payments.

From July 1 this year, all Child Support Agency parents not on a pension and earning at least $18,252 must lodge a tax return.

And the CSA will refer another 125,000 parents suspected of short-changing their children to the tax office this financial year.

Other measures include greater covert surveillance, arrangements to seize assets and stopping salary sacrifice being used to minimise child support obligations.

"While most parents do the right thing, the CSA will pursue parents who try to unfairly advantage themselves," Senator Ludwig said.

21 July 2008
Herald Sun Blog (Melbourne)

Child support should be for the kids
By Cheryl Critchley

I don't know how families survive financially after divorce. We already know the emotional cost is high, but running two households must be a nightmare both logistically and psychologically. Rarely do things run smoothly and financial arguments almost always arise. A Child Support Agency tax blitz on separated parents has netted $20 million in overdue child support payments this year.

Plenty of dads try to minimise their payments, usually through making it look like their business isn't making any money. But on the other side of the coin, some dads are unfairly left with virtually nothing after separating.

It is much easier for the self-employed and those who run businesses to shirk their child support responsibilities. I've heard a few examples of this over the years which makes me really angry, especially when you see the fathers driving around in brand new cars. Others quit their jobs so they don't have to pay, which is short-sighted and unfair on the kids. I know divorce is stressful for all involved, but these selfish parents should put their children first. If they want to get back at their partner do so through other means which don't affect the kids. Depriving their children of essentials is not going to help anyone, and will probably turn them against you.

Having said that, I can imagine the frustration that many men feel. As the primary breadwinner in my family, I would be outraged if my husband ran off and shacked up with someone else, took the kids and then expected me to pay more than half of my earnings to that household. In these cases the ex-husband has a right to feel aggrieved, as some women treat them terribly and do all they can to restrict access. There should be some sort of recourse against this, whether it be through the courts or mediation. There is no easy answer to child support issues. Divorce involving children is never easy and almost always messy.

Maybe prevention is one answer. Couples need to think really long and hard before marrying and having kids, because it is a life-long commitment and should not be made lightly. Unfortunately in too many cases this appears to have been the case. One partner simply tires of the other, or decides they like someone else better. That is simply not good enough.

No matter how acrimonious the divorce and how aggrieved one side feels, the children should be priority number one. If they live with the mother then she should get maintenance but she should also be fair about it and not expect the father to unnecessarily live in poverty. Some dads claim they are left with nothing and that it is no surprise some are hiding their income from the CSA. But they need to realise that it is not just the wife they are hurting, it is their children.

18 July 2008
Dads In Distress
Media Release

Supporting men going through the trauma of divorce and separation
When will we see our Children?

Federal Government researcher Ibolya Losoncz has found in her survey of 700 parents in the latest Family Matters journal (http://www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fm2008/fm79.html) that most dads and nearly half of all mums think dads don't see their kids enough and that if the mother saw little value in the father's involvement, she tended to limit the father's role.

Also "Three-quarters of separated dads want to see more of their children" And "For most children, separation of their parents will be marked by a considerable loss of contact with their non-resident parent, often the father," she said.

Dads in Distress Inc Founder Tony Miller said "Of course dads want to see more of their children and there is huge majorities who have court orders that say their children have a right to see dad, but are they being adhered to? No! "Resident parents are breaking the law while the Family Court looks the other way," he said. "Recently the Government came out with huge fanfare to punish dads who were not paying child support, many of whom haven't seen their kids for years. CSA now has the power to sell up houses, cars etc, garnishee wages, use optical surveillance etc, but what happens when a resident parent refuses to abide by court orders that allow kids to see their dads? Absolutely NOTHING."

The Family Law Council has called for the establishment of a Child Orders Enforcement Agency which would respond to complaints from aggrieved parents denied court ordered access to their children. DIDS INC believe that the CSA who have just been given wide ranging powers to wield against non payers would be well placed to be that agency and maybe it would even put an end to the perception of dads that the agency is biased and finally dads may even get a fair go. Just imagine the court time it would free up, said Mr. Miller.

"Kids need both mum AND dad in their day to day lives. A reversal of orders or a stop on child support on a three strikes your out basis would fix the problem immediately. But who's going to enforce it?" Mr. Miller said.

DIDS Media Contact:
Tony Miller
(Founder/Director DIDS)
Ph: 02 6652 8113
Mb: 04 2210 5855
Email: tmiller@nor.com.au

17 July 2008
Herald Sun (Melbourne, Australia)

Separation diminishes role - researcher
By Susie O'Brien

Three-quarters of separated dads want to see more of their children.

Issues such as parental conflict, distance and lack of finances make things difficult for dads, a new study shows.

Nearly one in five separated dads have no contact at all with their kids, while one in four see their children just a few times a year.

Federal Government researcher Ibolya Losoncz found that if the mother saw little value in the father's involvement, she tended to limit the father's role.

"For most children, separation of their parents will be marked by a considerable loss of contact with their non-resident parent, often the father," she said.

Her survey of 700 parents* in the latest Family Matters journal
www.aifs.gov.au/institute/pubs/fm2008/fm79.html shows most dads and nearly half of all mums think dads don't see their kids enough.

Only one in five kids see their non-resident parent once a week and only 5 per cent every day. Evidence also shows that contact declines, with 25 per cent of children seeing less of their father over time.

Ms Losoncz said little was known about the reasons for such a considerable difference between how much dads see their kids and how much they say they want to see them.

"One suggestion by researchers is poor relational factors between parents," she said.

Other factors may include the cost of contact, limited housing circumstances, distance and repartnering.

The findings also show 40 per cent of non-resident parents don't pay enough child support and 25 per cent don't pay any child support.

Ms Losoncz also showed non-resident parents had little decision-making power about their children.

More than half of resident parents say they don't consult their former partner on major decisions affecting children.

The study also found that parental conflict tended to diminish over time, dropping from 40 per cent to 15 per cent over two years, but Ms Losoncz warned that reduced conflict was not always evidence of a better relationship.

"It may indicate parents have nothing to do with one another," she said.

The findings come as recent changes to the Child Support Scheme
www.centrelink.gov.au/internet/internet.nsf/payments/child_supp_sche me.htm aim to increase joint parental access, decision-making and financial responsibility after family breakdown.

* Abstract - Shared parental responsibility

14 July 2008
Telegraph (UK)

Millionaire divorcee posts details of split on internet
By Caroline Gammell

A multi-millionaire businessman laid bare the financial details of his divorce for the world to see on the internet to stop "tittle-tattle" and malicious gossip about the breakdown of his 20-year marriage.

Gary Dean, who runs his own advertising company, publicised the fact that he had paid his ex-wife Helen a cash lump sum of 3.7 million, as well as financing her Mercedes and Audi convertible.

He also agreed to pay 15,000 a year for each of their four children up to the age of 17, to cover all school fees and to allow Mrs Dean to keep her jewellery.

Lastly, included in the settlement was his former wife's "cherished number plates - 7HD and 10HD".

Mr Dean, 47, said he set up a website entitled The Truth About Helen Louise Dean v Gary Dean because of the "Chinese whispers" circulating about him.

"Over the course of the last year I have been subject to gossip about my divorce, some of it just silly tittle-tattle and some of it malicious," he said.

"Much of this is circulated and perpetuated by people who haven't got a bloody clue of what the truth is.

"They are just making wild guesses, or making it up, or are misinformed, or are making false claims irrespective of whether such claims have any basis in truth."

Mr Dean, who has a new younger partner who he insists was not connected to the break-up, said he had been portrayed as a "ruthless tight bastard" who had abandoned his 46-year-old wife and children, leaving them destitute.

He said: "It's simply not true at all and I've decided that instead of allowing the rumour-mill to continue churning out nonsense, I'd just set out the actual facts to stop it."

But he added: "For the record, I am not directing what appears here at Helen and I don't blame her for any of this.

"That would be wrong as I have no idea whether she's spoken about it or not."

The Deans lived in a large house in St Michaels, near Preston, Lancs, with their daughter and three sons.

They enjoyed two or three holidays a year. When they first met Mr Dean was earning £700 a week, but his wealth flourished after he set up his business, while his wife stayed at home to look after the children.

Mr Dean said: "Quite why we both went through almost two years of huge legal bills and the stress of fighting the financial aspects of divorce, I really don't know."

Financial matters were finally settled in Preston High Court in July 2007 but after more than a year of continued speculation about the divorce, Mr Dean decided to silence the rumours.

He said he had no regrets about the website. "I wanted to put the matter to bed once and for all," he said.

"I wanted to do it in one hit, so that the people who have been talking about me can get their facts straight.

"It may not stop their tongues wagging, but at least they can stop telling lies about me."

A male relative of Mrs Dean, who answered the door of her new home near Thornton in Lancashire, said she did not want to comment.

11 July 2008
The Australian

Judges urged to talk to kids in family disputes
By Stephen Lunn, Social affairs writer

Family Court judges should be willing to talk directly to children in custody disputes, but remain loath to take an inquisitorial approach to their cases.

Discussions with children offered judges direct evidence of a child's wishes and made the child feel more engaged in the process deciding their future, a family conference heard yesterday. But judges tended to stick to the traditional role of observer, and felt they lacked the expertise to interview children.

"Judges do have power to speak with children ... but it hardly ever happens," University of Tasmania family law lecturer Michelle Fernando told the Australian Institute of Family Studies conference in Melbourne.

"They're reluctant because they still believe it's an inappropriate role to be an inquisitor rather than an independent observer. Also they don't believe they have the requisite training."

She said the reticence was a shame because the practice could benefit the children and their parents, as well as the family law system.

"First, the judge is getting direct evidence from the child without any filtering of views through an intermediary," she said.

"Second, there has been research to show children do receive a benefit from being involved in the process. They're more likely to be happier with the decision and stick with it. Children who feel they can't be involved are likely to feel greater stress from the separation."

Under changes to the Family Law Act in 2006, the court system was supposed to encourage a less adversarial approach to resolving disputes, Ms Fernando said.

The court had a duty under national and international law to take the child's views into account. And the few judges who were prepared to speak directly to children in legal proceedings were happy with the outcome.

"The changes to the act two years ago mean judges are stepping outside their traditional role anyway, so why not go that extra step and speak to the children?"

Ms Fernando said the procedure should complement the role of family consultants in court matters rather than replace them. Family consultants provide reports to the judge on the wishes of the child. The default position should be that a judge talked to the child unless the child did not want to, she said.

But Chief Justice of the Family Court Diana Bryant said it was not a good idea for judges to talk directly to children for "forensic purposes" - in other words, to gather evidence for a final decision.

"First, judges are not qualified for this purpose, nor should you expect them to be," Chief Justice Bryant told The Australian. "Second, there are often quite complex issues around what a child actually says: for instance, whether it's under pressure from a parent."

She said a trained psychologist or psychiatrist had the opportunity of seeing a child in the context of their parents and including that context in a report to court.

"We have the luxury of really good reports from highly qualified experts, which very often give a wider context beyond just what a child says: for instance, how they react to parents," she said. "It's an extremely valuable tool for a judge."

The Chief Justice said that for non-forensic matters, such as explaining the context of a decision the judge was going to make, there might be a role for more contact between the judge and the child. "But even then you would have to be extremely careful about the process."

04 July 2008
Attorney-General Robert McClelland
Media Release

Performance Bonuses for Family Relationship Centres (FRCs)

Attorney-General Robert McClelland has today welcomed the outcome of performance reviews for the first 15 Family Relationship Centres, which has resulted in eight being paid funding bonuses.

The Centres opened their doors in July 2006 and have been the subject of a performance review over the past six months.

"I am pleased to announce that all 15 Family Relationship Centres are performing well and that eight have been awarded a performance payment for achieving high quality outcomes for their clients," Mr McClelland said.

"These eight Family Relationship Centres, in particular, focused on keeping matters out of the courts."

Five Centres have been rated as exceptional:

• Darwin Family Relationship Centre, $145,390
• Hobart Family Relationship Centre, $86,172
• Joondalup Family Relationship Centre, $110,676
• Salisbury Family Relationship Centre, $108,532
• Sutherland Family Relationship Centre, $110,165

• Lismore Family Relationship Centre, $74,813
• Mildura Family Relationship Centre, $58,120
• Townsville Family Relationship Centre, $94,305

02 July 2008
The Age (Melbourne)

Doing nothing is not an option
By Catherine Deveny

Humans are more than flesh and bone. A helping hand can lift a spirit.

Not only does it take a village to raise a child, I've come to the conclusion that it also takes a village to raise an adult. We never stop growing up. We're never finished. We're all works in progress just trying to do our best and not always succeeding. We're human. And that's what humans do. Stuff up. And try again.

Just when you think you've got being an adult sorted, along comes big, fat, messy life and throws you a red herring, a poison chalice, a blessing in disguise or a total catastrophe just to keep you on your toes. Or on your knees. Or flat on your back and out for the rest of the season with a groin injury.

No matter how much we delude ourselves, life is never going to be a linear swim from pier to pub. We're all just paddling, hoping the next island gets us somewhere closer. To where? We don't know. We don't know where we're going. We just think we do. The only other options are treading water. Or sinking.

You can have your goals, your five-year plans and your illusion of security, but you can't count on them. It gives you a target to run to but don't be surprised if you find yourself detoured, disqualified or running past the finish line to find yourself off the map. In his book Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart, Gordon Livingston says: "Though a straight line seems to be the shortest distance between two points, life has a way of confounding geography. Often it is the detours that define us." Ring a bell?

A few weeks back I wrote about everyday heroes. People suffering and battling loss, grief, hurt, pain, depression and addiction. I wrote about my huge admiration for these heroes who, despite everything, and with nothing but the smallest glimmer of hope, just keep going.

I received a big response to the piece both from people suffering and from others grateful to be reminded that there are people around us engulfed by pain. Some people we're aware of, but others keep their pain private and hold it close to their broken hearts. People we work with, family we live with and strangers who sit next to us on the tram, serve us our coffee or write the words we read in the paper.

It happens to all of us, at times. We go to a dark place on a journey alone. Walking blindfolded through a maze, not knowing the way out, just fumbling through. Hoping that with each step, each turn and each dead end that we will find ourselves in a better place, a happier place.

As much as we would like to, we cannot go with the people we love on these journeys. But we can help. And the mere act of helping can touch another human being's spirit. We are not just bones, skin, hair and blood. Most of who we are is not visible to the eye. Our thoughts. Our spirit. Our soul.

When my mother's house burnt down, she said that it wasn't the people who did the wrong things that upset her, it was the people who did nothing. Which taught me that when you don't know what to do, do anything. Be assertive in your caring. But don't stay long. And don't expect anything. Chances are if you say to someone, "call me if you need anything", they won't. So just do something. Anything.

Cook them a meal and tell them to keep the container. Call them. And if you leave a message, let them know they don't need to call back. Lend them your favourite movie and leave a stamped, self-addressed envelope so they can send it back to you. Take them to the library. Buy them some flowers. Walk their dog. Take them a pie for lunch. Organise a massage for them. Or buy them a pair of red socks. If they are stuck in bed, buy them a new set of sheets and change them if they'll let you. Do their washing. Take their kids to the park and bring them back fed and tired at bedtime. And when in doubt, make soup.

Just let them know you're there. Even if they're not. You'll be doing far more for them than you'll ever know, and far more for yourself than you'd think possible. Be there holding the lamp and you may be the light at the end of someone's long dark tunnel.

We're all in this together. One moment you're holding the lamp, the next you'll find someone's holding it for you. We'll all have good times, bad times, happy times, sad times and times that we won't remember. That is certain. The only thing we don't know is what order they'll come in.

01 July 2008
Attorney-General Robert McClelland
Media Release

24 NEW FAMILY RELATIONSHIP CENTRES OPEN TODAY

From today, Australian families going through relationship difficulties or separation are being better supported with the opening of 24 new Family Relationship Centres, Attorney-General Robert McClelland said.

"The opening of these 24 new Centres demonstrates the Rudd Government's continuing commitment to Australian families," said Mr McClelland.

"The centres will work closely with the courts, the legal profession and other family relationship services to ensure families can access what they need so they can work through their difficulties with as little trauma as possible."

"I am confident that this collaboration will lead to better outcomes for families and, most importantly if separation does occur, their children," said Mr McClelland.

Family Relationship Centres provide a 'front door' into the Family Law system, giving families going through separation expert advice and family dispute resolution services.

Family dispute resolution helps parents to work out parenting arrangements that are in the best interests of their children, keeping their disputes out of the courts.

The 24 new Centres bring the total number of Centres operating in major capital cities and in regional and rural areas to 64.

Details of the new Family Relationship Centres, their locations and contact details are attached.

Information and advice on the range of family support services available can also be found online at: www.familyrelationships.gov.au or through the Family Relationships Advice Line on 1800 050321.

Media Contact: Adam Sims, Mr McClelland's Office, 04 1948 0224.

Jessica Walker, Ms Macklin's Office, 04 3016 6633.

Family Relationship Centres opening on 1 July 2008

New South Wales

Bankstown
Ground Floor, 8 Jacobs Street, BANKSTOWN
02 9707 8555

Bathurst
91 Seymour Street, BATHURST
02 6333 8888

Coffs Harbour
24 Park Avenue, COFFS HARBOUR
02 6659 4100

Dubbo
138 Darling Street, DUBBO
02 6815 9600

Erina
213 The Entrance Road, ERINA
02 4363 8000

Northern Beaches
First Floor, 651 Pittwater Road, DEE WHY
02 9981 9799

Parramatta
Level 3, 16 Parkes Street, PARRAMATTA
02 9895 8144

Sydney City
118 Sussex Street, SYDNEY
02 8235 1500

Tamworth
2/127a Bridge Street, TAMWORTH WEST
02 6762 1783 or 02 6763 7200

Taree
146 Victoria Street, TAREE
02 6551 1200

Victoria

Broadmeadows
Level 1, 1100 Pascoe Vale Road, BROADMEADOWS
03 9351 3700

Chadstone
41 Stamford Road, OAKLEIGH
03 9564 6999

Melbourne City
379 Collins Street, MELBOURNE
03 8625 3666

Shepparton
74 Wyndham Street, SHEPPARTON
03 5820 0444

Warrnambool
19 Jamieson Street, WARRNAMBOOL
1300 661 790

Queensland

Bundaberg
5 Bingera St, BUNDABERG
07 4130 7500

Chermside
90 Kittyhawk Drive, CHERMSIDE
07 3624 0100

Logan
25 Ewing Road, LOGAN CENTRAL
07 34421500

Mackay
35 Milton Street, MACKAY
07 4951 4555

Toowoomba
632 Ruthven Street, TOOWOOMBA
07 46995444

South Australia

Adelaide
55 Hutt Street, ADELAIDE
08 8419 2000

Mt Gambier
22 Bay Road, Cnr Bay Road and Helen Street, MOUNT GAMBIER
08 8721 3500 or 1800 880 913

Western Australia

Bunbury
20 Molloy Street, BUNBURY
08 9792 1155

Perth City
Sheffield House, Level 1, 713 Hay Street Mall, PERTH
08 9278 4000

Dads In Distress is funded by the Australian Federal Government.