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A woman has failed in her bid to have the Family Court stop her former
partner from encouraging their six-year-old daughter to call her
stepmother "Mummy D".
The mother applied for the unusual order in a South Australian case, years
after the parents separated within the first year of the child's life.
She said encouraging the term of endearment was "an incendiary action" by
her former partner and his new partner, even though it was followed by the
initial of the stepmother's first name and they had agreed not to
encourage the simple use of "mum" or "mummy".
But Justice Christine Dawe refused to grant the order, saying it was
impractical to require the father to stop encouraging the stepmother and
the child to use the term ''Mummy D'', and could have led to further
litigation.
"Weighing all of the factors up, and particularly that the child has in
the past used the expression 'Mummy [D]', and on the basis that I am not
satisfied from any of the material before the court that the use of the
expression 'Mummy [D]' by the stepmother would undermine the mother's
relationship with the child, I am not satisfied that it is in the best
interests of the child [to grant the order]," the judge said.
"I also accept that, at her age, she will develop and in future will be
likely to, or may well possibly, adapt to calling each of her step-parents
by their first names rather than using expressions of either 'Mummy' or
'Daddy'."
The judge said that details of names used are usually agreed outside the
court, but "in this case, it has not been possible".
Professor Patrick Parkinson, a family law expert from the University of
Sydney, said it was the first such case he had heard of, but was similar
to frequent disputes over whether a child's surname could be changed.
"There are limits to what any court can do. You can't regulate every
aspect of family life through court orders," he said. "We've got to grow up and
stop thinking every breakdown can be resolved by the court."
The case had probably cost the parties a lot of money, time and anxiety,
but there was not much that could be done to stop such changes occurring
after divorce except to respect the other people involved and recognise
their role in a child's life, he said.
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