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information
Dads in Distress - Main information
The Bare Facts
The Dads in Distress Story
Men and Marriage Breakdowns
Separation Grief: Quantifying The Problem
Executive Summary
Dads in Distress Support Services - Family Violence Policy Statement
Family Law & Cild Support
Family Law Reform and Child Support Reviews (History 2003-2010)
Family Law legislation change round-up 2006
Family Law reviews 2009/10
Quick Lessons About Family Law - by CustodyIQ
A NEW APPROACH TO THE FAMILY LAW SYSTEM - Submission by Dads in Distress Inc.
New Child Dispute Processes in the Family Court (01 July 2007)
MP's and Senators' E-Mail Addresses (or alternative contact details)
Offender Warning Letter - NSW Police Service - Domestic Violence Liaison Office
Respondent Court information letter
Apprehended Violence, Part 15A of the Crimes Act 12 March 2007 (PDF document 544kb)
Family Court Of Australia - Guidelines for the ordering and preparation of Family Reports (PDF document 180kb)
Self-represented litigants' kit (PDF document 1,1MB)
(A do-it-yourself kit to help you prepare a family law case and represent yourself in court)
A guide to REPRESENTING YOURSELF in the FAMILY COURT of Western Australia CHILDREN'S CASES
A guide to REPRESENTING YOURSELF in the FAMILY COURT of Western Australia
PROPERTY CASES
Child Support Agency, Care estimator
Suicide & Disorders
Hunter Institute of mental health - Suicide in Australia 1979-2004
Suicide prevention - targeting the patient at risk
Suicide Rate Soars for Girls - What's Going On? (United States)
Suicide Trends Among Youths and Young Adults Aged 10-24 Years - United
States, 1990-2004
Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD)
Parental Alienation Syndrome (PAS)
Hostile Aggressive Parenting (HAP)
The Cult of Parenthood: A Qualitative Study of Parental Alienation
Custody & Parenting
Children's Matters, Parenting Plans & Orders
Developing a Parenting Plan: A Guide for Divorcing Parents
Statistics supporting the Shared Parenting / Kids Need Both Parents Bill (USA)
Equal Opportunities Commission (UK) - Shared Caring: bringing fathers into the frame
Children likely to be better adjusted in joint vs sole custody arrangements in most cases
Children as property and fathers as part time babysitters
Child Maintenance Trusts
Child Custody, Access and Parental Responsibility, Edward Kruk December 2008
Family & Relationship
Family Relationship Advice Line
Family Relationship Centres
Family Relationship Centres, the Family Relationship Advice Line and the Legal Profession
The Household, Income and Labour Dynamics in Australia (HILDA) Survey
Papers from the 2004 National Men and Family Relationships Forum
Edith Cowan University - Researchers call for rights for second families
Should I Keep Trying to Work It Out? A Guidebook for Individuals and Couples at the Crossroads of Divorce
Trends in Cohabitation / Attitudes Towards Marriage and Cohabitation
Men's Health
Australian Medical Association: Position Paper on Men's Health
The Bare Facts
Imagine this.
WHILE YOU ARE READING THIS DOCUMENT, A MAN SOMEWHERE IN AUSTRALIA IS TRYING TO HANG HIMSELF FROM
THE BEAM IN HIS SHED, ANOTHER IS SWALLOWING A HANDFUL OF PILLS, ANOTHER IS CONNECTING A HOSE FROM
HIS EXHAUST PIPE TO THE WINDOW OF HIS CAR AND YET ANOTHER IS CRUISING THE HIGHWAY AND ABOUT TO
TURN HIS CAR INTO THE PATH OF AN ONCOMING SEMI TRAILER.
We lose five Australian males a day to suicide...How many children have just lost a dad?????
The Dads in Distress Story
The idea of creating a men's support group was conceived by Tony, a father of five children struggling
with the trauma of a marriage breakdown and the loss of his family. In his grief Tony searched for help to come to grips with his circumstances and to gain an understanding
of why this has happened.....
To his disappointment he discovered that none was available, not just in his local area but anywhere
in Australia that he could find. While there was plenty of help for women with similar problems none existed for men and more importantly,
men by their very nature, were reluctant to talk about their problems.
A consequence of there not being help available and a process by which men could be encouraged to talk
about their problems there are, on average, five (5) males a day suiciding in Australia.
The loss of so many confused Australians and the devastating impact on so many families motivated Tony
to set up Dads in Distress completely at his own cost.
Since inception thousands of men have past through the program, many of whom talk openly about how close
they came to self destruction were it not for Tony and the support and understanding that came from
attending the meetings and hearing from others in similar circumstances.
The Dads in Distress format has been so successful that it is now time to spread the concept to provide
help to men and prevent more unnecessary suicides.
To this end it is proposed to establish groups throughout Australia.
Men and Marriage Breakdowns
(Extract from a paper prepared by Mr. Geoff Price, Counselor with the NSW Men's Health and
Well-being Association.)
"When marriages break down, it's often men who hurt the most." One advantage of being a woman is
that when something goes wrong in her life, it's often easier for her to turn to friends for support.
Many men, on the other hand, find it difficult to confide in others, partly because men are often
brought up believing they must always appear strong, and that asking for help is a sign of inadequacy.
Another reason is that although a man may have friends with whom he works, socializes or plays sports,
they are not always the kind of relationships in which he feels he can confide his deepest feelings.
The fact that men often have less emotional support is a major reason why, when marriages break up,
many men develop emotional problems, that can eventually affect their health.
Each year in Australia, there are around 52,000 divorces and 70,000 separations, a figure that
includes couples living in long-term de facto relationships.
This adds up to large numbers of men who aren't coping with the aftermath of separation.
According to research by the Family Law Court of Australia many men are still struggling with
problems relating to separation ten years after the event.
This doesn't mean men have a worse experience than women. Many men are simply unprepared for the
break-up of their relationship.
After separation, it's normal for partners to feel many emotions including loneliness, confusion,
guilt, anger, or feeling worthless.
But whereas women can unburden their feelings by talking to friends, many men keep their emotions
locked inside.
It takes courage for men to speak out about their feelings, but it is better if they can.
When we hide our pain it affects our mental and physical health. Instead of expressing their grief
openly, men often cope with separation or divorce in ways that can affect their health, some men
withdraw from their friends or spend too much time at work, for instance; others cope with grief
by abusing alcohol or other drugs, while some become violent.
Sometimes this violence is turned upon themselves.
For every female suicide associated with separation, there are twelve male suicides.
Separation Grief: Quantifying The Problem
The risks.
A man getting married in Australia today and having children faces the following risks:
33% risk that his marriage will end before his children are reared.
20% risk that his marriage will end against his will.
30% risk that his children will not be living with him until they are reared.
22% risk that he will be separated from his children against his wishes.
10% risk that he will have no contact with his children by the time they are adults.
Compare these figures with other health problems.
A man's lifetime risk of losing contact with his children is twice that of contracting lung cancer.
Young separated men are 10 times more likely to die by suicide than through road accidents. The
suicide rate amongst separated men is more than double the rate of contracting AIDS for all men
and 35 times higher than the risk of contracting AIDS through heterosexual contact.
The numbers.
In Australia each day
77 fathers separate from their child's mother.
71 of these 77 fathers will not be living with their children five years later.
52 of these 77 fathers are denied the amount of contact with their children that they desire.
On average, at least one separated man suicides every day.
In Australia today.
There are 558,000 non-custodial fathers who are denied as much contact with their children as they
would like. Unemployment rate amongst separated fathers is roughly triple the national average.
About 1,000,000 children do not live with both parents. Both parents care for only 2.6% of these
children. 300,000 children see their father less than once a year...
This poll was written in 1996. - P. Vogal Editor of Certified Male.
Latest Suicide Statistics published show that In 2004 sadly
1661 MALES and 437 Females
suicided in this country.
A Ratio of 4 to 1 (Latest ABS Stats).
Executive Summary
Every day in Australia five males take their own lives. The Bureau of Transport Economics places a
cost to Australian society of $1.5M for all premature deaths.
Putting aside the emotional issues of such a tragic loss of five lives, Australian society loses
$7.5M daily...
Every ten minutes a marriage is dissolved in the Family Law Courts. For every female suicide there
are four male suicides.
Why is this so and what is being done about it?
Women intuitively share their emotions with other women and they have numerous support facilities
to do this.
On the other hand men have great difficulty in confiding in others and support is almost non-existent.
To address this anomaly Dads in Distress was created by Tony as a support group to help men suffering
from the trauma of marriage breakdowns and separation from there loved ones. Tony was a successful
businessman, with 5 children from two marriages, the last being 16 years. When his marriage broke
down he was devastated. As a typical male he elected to tough it out.
Men don't cry. They don't need help.
In his grief he conceived and established Dads in Distress to help himself and others. Dads in Distress
has been a spectacular success rendering ongoing support to thousands of men. Within the membership
of Dads in Distress is a nucleus of compassionate, separated men committed to helping other men by
encouraging them to do what women intuitively do. Talk about their grief and their feelings with other
men who have also "felt the pain."
Meetings take place every Sunday night because that is the night that most men have had their
separation reinforced by having taken their children back to the family home after their access time.
Men in adjacent towns on the north coast of NSW have become aware of the program and have asked for
help in establishing support groups in their towns.
Up until now Dads in Distress has relied completely on volunteers. We now have one fulltime co-ordinator.
For the sake of your fellow man, please help us.
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